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Are you a financial drama queen? Not sure? Ask yourself these questions:

  • You carry bad debt over month-to-month.
  • You constantly bail people out of their own dysfunction.
  • You spend more than you earn.
  • You’re house/car/”insert material item” poor and not willing to downsize.

If you answered yes to one of these questions, congratulations: you’re a financial drama queen!

It’s not nearly as glamorous and exciting as it sounds, right? Of course not. Who wants to constantly be running towards breaking even in their personal financial lives? No one, and especially not you.

So how do stop this cycle? How do you break the old habits, create new healthy ones and live financially abundant life? These three tips are a good place to start:

Help yourself first.

Lending money to a friend or family member in need is sometimes the right thing to do. What’s the point of having money if you can’t occasionally lend assistance to the people you love? The problem comes when you are constantly helping people to the detriment of yourself. You have to treat yourself well in order to be the best human you can for everyone else, and you do that by helping yourself first.

Action step: Every time you get paid, pay yourself first. Set up an automatic monthly debit that goes directly to a different account. Make sure you’re saving most of that money, but earmark a piece of it to do something nice for you. Set your price, stick to it and don’t dip into that fund for anything other than what you created it for.

The only person you are allowed to compare yourself to is who you were yesterday.

You don’t have to explain to me how easy it is to fall into the trap of comparison. We’re only human, and it’s natural for us to see where we stack up to those in our peer group. But comparing yourself to others isn’t fair to anyone – especially you. Do it long enough, and you’ll just end up hurting yourself.

Action step: No more comparing yourself to your best friend, neighbor, sister or anyone. The best measuring stick is the one that you have for you: who you were yesterday, who you are being today and who you want to be tomorrow.

Clean your emotional and financial drains.

Maybe it’s a credit card balance or a too-expensive car lease. It could be as small as $40/month subscription service or as large as a house note that you are drowning in. There’s no shame in admitting that the life you once were able to afford (or maybe that you thought you could afford) is no longer financially feasible. Trying to stay above water in the deep end will only work for so long. Eventually, you’re going to have to get out of the pool.

Action step: Comb through your monthly bills to see how much you are actually spending on just living: groceries, house expenses, transportation, medical bills, etc. Then look at what you’re spending over that. Maybe give up the makeup subscription service for six months or trade in the car for something that costs half that. To get rid of financial drama, you must eliminate the financial drains.

Bottom line, your financial drama ends when you accept your current reality and know that you can choose a different path. Take control by assuming responsibility for your life and begin to build abundance.

Like this blog? Share it with your friends on Facebook and Twitter.  Also, be sure to sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter Financial Consciousness. And join the conversation on Facebook where we’ve grown together and act as a community to promote financial healing.

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