In the past, I’ve talked about the five ways women sabotage our relationships with money. We find reasons to spend when we don’t need to, and we are constantly thinking about the other people in our lives before ourselves. In order to have a healthy relationship with money, we need to counter those negative thoughts with positive actions.
Instead of putting others needs before ourselves, we should take care of us first.
There’s such a negative connotation with putting ourselves first. But doing things to take care of you doesn’t at all make you selfish. When you get a daily workout in, cook healthy meals, sleep a full eight hours or take time out for mediation, you’re doing good things for yourself. By being good to you, you can better help others.
Instead of spending on what we think we need, we should first consider why we think we need it.
We get caught up in fitting in with coworkers, friends, neighbors and families that we don’t stop and really think about what’s happening. Think about it; do you even like half the things you buy just to “keep up with the Jones’”? Probably not, right? Rather than spending to belong, accept who you are! Once you get in touch with your true self, your money habits will be more in line with who you really are.
Instead of treating ourselves through excessive spending, we should first consider our long-term goals.
We’ve all been there. It was a rough week at work, and now we want to do something nice for ourselves for getting through it. So we go on a shopping spree and then have a great dinner out with friends. Then we realize how much we’ve spent, and we freak out. Recognize your spending patterns when you’re in “celebration” mode, and think about the long-term effects of your actions. Mostly likely, that handbag won’t be worth your peace of mind.
Instead of listening to the crabs in our bucket, we should not allow them to feed our insecurities.
The “crabs in your bucket” have one objective: to bring you down. They may say it lovingly and call it “constructive criticism”, but you know their true intentions. You let the crabs succeed in their mission when you allow what they say to halt your progress. But you are better than that! You know what you are capable of, and so do your crabs. Show them – and yourself – what you’re made of.
Instead of ignoring our dreams and desires, we need to go after them.
I know. Thinking about your dreams is one thing, but going for them is another. It’s intimidating to think about what you have to do in order to bring those desires to the surface. But you can absolutely make your dreams reality. You know what it takes? One small step towards your goals each day. That’s it. Moving towards you goals daily puts you in the mindset of success. Once you’ve got the right mindset, you’ll stop sabotaging your relationship with money.