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Have You Had Enough?

By | Advice from Julie Murphy Casserly, Blog | No Comments

For years, I’ve watched while we, particularly women, choose to put others needs in front of our own. When in the inside we are starving for our lives to be different than what we’ve created. Depending on your stage of life it could be different, but usually when we are starting in our 40s we start to see it differently, but by the time we’re in our 50s, we’ve had enough.

I watch as we chip away at what our soul is screaming for us to do and we still choose to do other things despite being called to another path. We get trapped by the rat race of our lives which results in stuffing down our emotions. Those stuffed down emotions either work themselves out by feeling the feelings or we act them out through our health or our wealth. We start being put on medications from our doctors, and we grieve what we know our financial lives could have been if you had made different choices.

I know it is hard to change gears, particularly as the years go by, but let me tell you how I jumped off the ledge and I am soaring because of it. In life, if we don’t choose to follow our soul’s path, your soul will choose it for you. Mine did. The other day, my husband said to me, “Julie, I love when you’re like this!” I was a bit confused as to what he was referring to so I inquired. “Billy, what are you talking about?” He said, “Every time you get to this point where you’re taking all this risk, hiring and training new advisors, getting a new book published, hiring a new business consultant, traveling to conferences, doing more corporate financial wellness seminars, spending tons of money on infrastructure, and you’re really stressed about it because you are fearful that you’ve made the right choices, you’re about to pop.” He went on to tell me that he has seen me do this about four other times since he met me 17 years ago. I never saw it before, but here I am again, jumping off the ledge because I know the work I am supposed to do in the world, and I’m taking that leap of faith and just getting it done.

In my first book, The Emotion Behind Money: Building Wealth From the Inside Out, I talk about how when we choose to change, those around us, family, friends, colleagues, will not initially really like it on some level because you are changing the status quo. On some level they feel vulnerable and many of those people will tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t take your leap of faith. I call these the crabs in your bucket. Why? If you’ve ever seen crabs in a bucket, when one tries to climb out, the others try to pull them back down. But, if there is only one crab in a bucket, they can crawl out by themselves no problem. Moral of the story is for you to go to the next place in your world, the place of personal soulful living; you need to get the crabs out of your life.

Those crabs can be multiple things like:

  • Are you your grandchildren’s nanny? (never thought you’d have another full time job again, eh?)
  • Are you still in touch with your ex and watching him/her live a better lifestyle or a new happy relationship than you and you’re still ticked off about it?
  • Are you bored at your job and it just doesn’t challenge you anymore, but boy it’s a great paycheck to pay those bills though (words like this keep us trapped)?
  • Are you still married to that person who really is today, just not making you happy, but its familiar?

What happens when we allow these things to fester, at first they make us sad, then as the years go by we get mad, then we get angry, then by the time we hit retirement, we are full blown pissed off and full of rage of what could have been. Well, let’s interrupt that cycle…let’s choose to not be that crabby retired person. Who’s with me?

It’s not easy doing it ourselves, so let’s build up a support system. If you really want to dump that spouse, start talking to people who have had divorces that have turned out the best way possible. One just like how you’d like your outcome to be. I met a woman over the past few years that really just couldn’t be married any longer, they had a few kids together, but they just got married so young and they are different people today. Lots of family pressure to stay married, and layer her religion or old religion belief systems that have been ingrained; it was very hard for her to take this leap. She came to me and asked for resources that could help her on her journey to create a loving divorce. I referred her to two really great resources:

This is Not the Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness by Laura Munson

Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Ever After by Katherine Woodward Thomas.

Or perhaps something like this has occurred in your life. I had a client experience something recently that reminded me of what happened to a good friend of mine years ago. She gave her life to her job. Now some of you may not have given your life to your job, but perhaps its was to raising your kids so you can relate in some fashion. It was good for all those year, not great, but good enough. Then after 23 years, about to make partner at her law firm, they said to her, “unless you have a significant shift in your personality, you will never be partner at this firm.” Talk about a blow. Talk about the volumes of sadness, anger and rage that came right up to the surface. There was no way to shove it down this time, it was coming out with a vengeance. After 23 years of long days, and long tax seasons, she was dropped like a hot potato. Ever felt like that?

Good news is that the emotion came up and out which started her healing process. One of the most destructive things we can do is hold in our emotions, remember, we either work them out or act them out. And, we act them out usually through our health or through our money. If we don’t align with our purpose, and what is true for us in this moment in time, we will eventually hit a crisis point like this that will force the shift. So let’s move past the sadness, the anger, the rage or any other emotion we have by feeling them. What this allowed my friend to do was to attract a better job, more income, and a ton more time for quality of life.

We are here to support you. Join me and my community to help support you through your transition to more health and wealth in your life.

Namaste, Julie

Your Mindset Creates Your Reality

By | Advice from Julie Murphy Casserly, Blog | No Comments

If you’ve read my book or any of my blogs, you know that I passionately believe in, and encourage you to harness the power of your money mindset. It is true that what you put out to the Universe is returned to you.

I’m overcome with joy when I see someone else experience these abundant moments and share them with the world, thereby planting more seeds of empowering shift.

I was inspired when I read this post by Jenn Dieas, Founder and President of “Glowout – A Golden Girl Salon”. She truly manifests the power of this message.

You may have your fearful moment, lament about your struggle. But once you focus back on your strength and let the world know you’re ready to embrace it, things change.

See how Jenn pulled herself from fear to power, and the financial win she experienced from creating that shift for herself. Read on, and unleash your inner Glow Getter!

jenn-dieas-post-jmcMO MONEY MO PROBLEMS” After a slightly panicked morning with a bunch of money worry I decided to take a walk and move some stress out of my body. I had a major pep talk with myself about money. Like “girl you’re a badass mofo you got this ok.”

I grew up with a mom who was always hustling someone and a lot of those hustles weren’t so legal. I watched that become the cause of us living in shitty motels out of our duffel bags. That stuck with me. I promised myself I’d never not walk the straight and narrow, honest line.

After my walk I headed to work to grab some things and notice I left an old purse in my office. I open it up and BAM $300 of my tip money is inside. Cha Ching! I’m reminded once again that my mindset creates my reality. #zenjenn #shiftshappen

~ Jenn Dieas, August, 2016


Break Your Dam, It’s Time to Rebuild

By | Advice from Julie Murphy Casserly, Blog | No Comments

We all have experiences and conditioning that has shaped us during our lives. If you added them all up the result is the “you” of today. “You” today, is only a fraction of who you really are, join me in breaking the dams we’ve created so we can rebuild ourselves from our core. From the inside out!

Ready, Set, Go…..

This past week has consisted of a range of emotions. I’ve been that woman that has conquered it all. I pushed through the standards set by many of those in my life, past and present, I’ve done it all. On so many levels, I don’t feel that way. Yes, I’ve accomplished a lot, graduated college, undergrad and graduate, from two of the best universities in this country, I’ve married a wonderful man, I’ve had four healthy children who are thriving, etc. But still, something felt off.

We beat ourselves up in the moment for not getting this done or that done, or why didn’t our kids turn out this way or that way, but in reality, we are amazing!! Take the time to see how amazing you are just as I did this past week. List out all those things you’ve done great. We forget to internalize and really feel those accomplishments, big or small. It may even come up for you in a different package. For instance, I was brought to tears a few times this week.

One of those times, I was thinking about my cousin Patrick who committed suicide in his 30s, just after I had an amazing conversation with him about starting his own business. He called me up to try to wrap his head around how I did it. I kept saying “Patrick, what are you talking about?” He said to me, “Julie, you came from no money, you had nothing. My family had so much more than yours did, bigger house, better neighborhood, better cars, better clothes, better schools, etc. You came from a poorer neighborhood than me, but now you are thriving, happy and you run your life the way you want to.” At the time, I wasn’t aware that there was any other way to be.  He asked me how he could start to find that for himself, but he had no idea how to start. He was amazing! He just didn’t see what everyone else could. How many gifts he had to share with the world in the perfect version that he was regardless of how much money or success he had from the outside looking in. Gosh, I loved him so much. Even my son Michael Patrick carries his name. I found out about week after he died that his business cards showed up in the mail for his new venture. This was some sadness I was holding onto that was coming up as my dam kept crumbling.

Let’s not wait until a crisis, we don’t have to. We can choose otherwise.  Reflecting on my relationship with Patrick this week I realized that my success and accomplishments have been about the impact I have made on people. By having the courage to be my authentic self and by breaking down barriers and walls we’ve created is my purpose. I express my purpose in many areas of my life. Even at my kids’ school, the teachers keep saying to me and my husband how normal we are. I laugh because I didn’t even get what that meant. But in reality, we haven’t bought into the show, the external things to make you happy, the stuff, the appearances, we just are us, take it or leave it. We’re authentic, we are just two Southsiders that have “made it” and our kids go to a great private school in the city and we don’t treat others differently if they are a have or have not.

I teach, financially speaking, that people fall into one of six categories, the poor, debtors, dreamers, accumulators, rich but empty and those that embody real wealth. Why? Because I have found that anyone who is currently poor, debtor, dreamer or accumulator, are usually striving for something outside of themselves to feel like they have made something of their life. Or achieved something based on someone else’s measuring stick that measures what we should be doing.

Once someone because rich, by society terms, meaning they have enough money that they don’t necessarily have to work the rest of their lives or not work as much, that they on some level have arrived. In reality, many don’t feel that way at all. We are in this hologram believing that this chase or rat race will get you somewhere and we are all working so hard to get there. I’m here to tell you, the rainbow is not at the end of that tunnel.

I’ve spent my career teaching people to love what they do for a living, have the courage to shift when they don’t love it anymore, and financially find a way how to do it. What’s occurred is more money has come their way time and time again as they honor their own self love and self-care. They’ve lived daily by being their authentic selves and scream it to the world.   They never become rich but empty, but they align their careers, family life, and personal life with their dreams and desires, and the money follows. As a result, they’ve received fulfillment and quality of life everyday instead of waiting for some hologram that isn’t real.

Two years ago, I was angry at everything and rage was exploding every week from me. I was angry about the status of my marriage, how nasty my kids were talking to each other, that I had two c-sections which I thought was a failure, how my business hadn’t hit the heights I had expected it to, and countless other things. Then I heard that when a person is angry, or in a state of rage, that it really is just deep sadness. At first I would say to myself, “whatever, I’m not sad.” Then I decided to ask myself a question every time I felt anger or rage. “Julie, what are you sad about?” It took about a month of doing this before my sadness came to the surface. I had created a pattern of suffering around the expectations I had set for my life which I had not fulfilled in the timely manner I thought to be true. To survive my childhood, 2nd oldest of 12 children, and make it out and be successful, I had to be in control of everything around me. That control was no longer serving me well and it was actually what was holding me back.

A few years later, I’ve now realized that we create these patterns in our life to deal with our experiences and I’ve always said that we either have to work things out or act them out. We act them out typically through our money or through our health. And until we typically have a crisis, financial or health, many of us don’t change. By choosing to allow your dam to start cracking, and move to a place of vulnerability, and have the courage to keep walking the path, you will overt having a health or financial crisis.

If you look at it, our country and our world systemically is doing the same thing. We have old belief systems, financial and other sectors, that if we don’t shift, like stop creating all this debt worldwide, we will have another financial crisis on our hands. The hits will keep coming, and keep getting stronger, until we shift.

Personally this is true too. I made a decision in 2005 when my dad had his two strokes that I was not going to create that same crisis pattern. That’s officially when my dam started to break and today, the final old walls of the old me have come down. I sit in a place of pure vulnerability, which for those of you who have known me throughout the years it’s not a place I sat in very often. But what I wanted more than anything was to do what my soul came here to do and not apologize for it. On some level, I always knew the timing would come after I brought my babies into the world, then it was my time. It was then going to be Julie’s time. That time has arrived. That time is now!

I believe our feminine energy is being called to surface to balance out the masculine, competitive nature our world has been for many, many years. In my work, it was about acknowledging that even though I did financial planning so different than all of my colleagues in the industry, I knew I was onto something that made my heart sing. It made me feel excited and expansive and it makes me giggle every time I do it. The fun I’m having today is teaching my system now to other planners so we can now impact a much larger portion of the population.

So, what is your soul supposed to do in this lifetime? I’ll bet you’re not fully doing it or you wouldn’t be reading this blog. If you need help, we are here to support you. Join our Facebook community here or email us at info@jmcwealth.com if you’d like individual help. It’s your time to take back your personal power with money and fully embody who you are meant to be.

Financial Fears: Time to Let Them GO….

By | Advice from Julie Murphy Casserly, Blog | No Comments

Who’s got them? My guess is most of us. They come and go over time, sometimes with more intensity and sometimes less. Why? This comes from our past conditions in the families and communities we grew up in. We learned emotional response systems from those we started our lives with and continue to attract those that reinforce those belief systems. We’re more stuck in our daily groves, with the appearance, that it is harder and harder to change the more time flies by. I’m here to tell you, anything can happen, no matter what age you are, how many failures you’ve had or how many people are counting against you. All you need is the real you to show up…and to recognize why these patterns keep persisting in our lives.

Think of it like this, years ago, I was watching TV. I was watching a cooking show. Not one with a huge celebrity chef cooking, but a show that brought in everyday people to share their family favorite recipes that had been passed down for generations. This young woman, in her early 20s, was picked and she was so excited to share her great grandmother’s baked ham recipe. As she prepared the food live tv she was very methodical going through things step by step. The host that day asked her, “Why are you cutting both ends off the ham before you put it in the oven?” The young woman responded, “I’m not sure, that’s just how we’ve always done it in our family.”

As she continued preparing the ham to go into the oven, the host was still perplexed as to why she cut off the two ends of the ham, and then tossed them into the garbage. The host challenged the young woman. She said, “Can we call your mom why you cut off the edges and throw them away?” Of course, the young woman agreed. They called mom and she said, I’m not really sure, let’s call grandma. “Grandma, can you tell me why we always cut off the ends of the baked ham when we do our family recipe?” Grandma stated, “I don’t know, that’s just how my mother taught me.” Her great grandmother was still alive and the host asked if it would be ok to make this third phone call to great grandmother to solve the mystery.

Great grandmother was happy to take the call, at age 92, and said, “Oh sweetheart, I cut the ends off the ham because the pan I used for years was too small to fit the whole thing.” Can you believe it? Really! Four generations this recipe got passed down and they were cutting off the edges of the ham and throwing them in the garbage all because great grandmothers’ pan was too small. Crazy!! This is a simple example of how patterns stick in our lives and we don’t even know why and ask if the reasoning is even relative to today.

So what does this have to do with our financial fears? Our fears are the same way. The conditioning that we have learned from past generations stick with us and most of it isn’t our stuff to begin with, but this is how we learned to emotionally respond to the world and how we handle to our financial world daily. Some cultures don’t believe in banks, they use currency exchanges to cash their checks. Some cultures like to keep wads of cash in their house because they lived, or their past relatives, lived in a period of time when it was not safe to put money in the banks, particularly in eastern Europe during the communist phases of history. And I could go on and on about how these fears have impacted behavior in many other cultures and how it impacts how we interface financially today.  We all have them, the question is what are yours and are they supporting the life you, and only you, want to live today?

Realize our financial fears really don’t come from our money. Money is one way we act out our unprocessed, unfelt, emotions. Remember, Einstein proved that energy is neither created nor destroyed it just changes form. So, if you have an emotional charge about something, a fear, and you don’t directly address it at that moment in time, the energy either gets stored in your body or exits your energy field some other way. The level of debt in our world today is the proof in the pudding that we are NOT processing our emotions in real, present time. We’ve been taught to be polite, don’t do this, don’t do that, be politically correct and all this stuffing in, is acting out with our spending. We are creating debt, and huge levels of it. You see this on the personal financial level, corporate, non-for-profits, and governmental financial levels, it’s everywhere. We are in over our heads and this too will come to a striking halt at some point if we don’t address why it’s being created in the first place. So much of it is fear driven. Fear of not having what someone else has. We are expressing fear of being rejected, and not being accepting by society’s norms, regardless if it’s really important to us or not. We’re caught up with what is outside of us, instead of focusing what is true for us in the inside.

You may have convinced yourself that you only have “good debt”. Debt is like a venereal disease, never really actually good and once in the cycle, it never really ever goes away. I have plenty of financial experts in my field that would completely argue with me on this point. They would say something like, well, if I’m paying 3% on my mortgage and after the tax deduction on the interest, I’m really only paying out 2%, why would I not put more of my extra cash into something that makes more return? From a pure financial standpoint, this is correct, but if we don’t look under the hood what motivated to have that debt in the first place, you will stay in a trap that is really hard to get out of, it becomes a debt living lifestyle. We keep upgrading our houses, buying more expensive cars as we age with more bells and whistles, etc. When you create too much debt, whether it be student loan debt, mortgage debt, car loan debt, credit card debt, etc, you get stuck in your financial past decisions. This doesn’t allow you the space to be nimble to live in the present moment or change the trajectory of the future you want to create easily. This is how our fears get reinforced in our limiting belief systems for our past conditioning.

Wow, that’s a mouthful….let me say it again. When we make financial decisions that are conditioned from those who taught us and the influences of our personal experiences, we are responding in a way that is primarily fear based in most situations. You can see this when you keep having negative outcomes, or not expected outcomes in your financial life. Goal is to start to become the observer of your financial life. Don’t judge where you’re financially at, just look, just observe. What do you see? It’s ok to look, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to get so pissed off that you punch the wall, ok, that may be a bit extreme, but you get my point…get those emotions up and out so we can heal those financial patterns that we being recreated over and over again that don’t support the “you” of today.

Money is energy. To overcome your financial fears once and for all, you have to tactically start to move your money into the directions that really support the new you. Become financially fearless!! Now don’t go being a recluse, don’t be extreme because that is never sustainable. Bite size pieces. When I say become the fearless financial version of yourself, that means have the courage to decide to leave that crappy job that is really not feeding your soul today. You know that one that is giving you a paycheck that you feel you can’t walk away from, but yet you can with a plan. It’s about just start being willing to put together the list of your dream job. Let me share a story of someone who faced this job situation head on.

Someone close to me was in a good job. It was stable, income was decent, she liked most of the people she worked with, but her dream job posting had come to her attention. She found out that they were considering three people inside the company for the job. She would be the only outsider considered for the position. It would have been easy to give into her fears and do all that negative self-talk of the low odds of her actually being picked since she didn’t already work there or have any relationships with those she’d be interviewing with. Blah, blah, blah….. I told her that was a bunch of hogwash. If you believe it, then it will be true.” She felt like to total underdog, she was younger, an outsider and she didn’t have as much experience.

I told her, “You need to turn the tables. You need to shift the energy of the interviewing process.” She looked at me like I had ten heads. “How do you turn the tables?” she asked. I said you need to interview them, not the other way around. She was not exactly sure what I was referring to. I told her it was about going through the interviewing process from a place of being their equal as opposed to being the beggar, the underdog. She needed to be clear as to who she is at this moment in time, the job functions she would love to do day in and day out, the type of people she wanted surround herself with from her co-workers, boss, and company culture, how much travel she wanted to do with the position, what her ideal income would be (she needed to claim her number BEFORE they made her an offer, this way one doesn’t chicken out), etc.

Why go about it in the fashion? When you do, you maintain your personal power and you don’t turn it over to the other party. I had her type out all the details of her desired work life on a piece of paper. She sent it over to me and I began to blow holes in it. I see this all the time, the first time someone gives me their list, they are always general and very corporate in nature. Putting down what they think they should put down, instead of what they really want. They’ve usually dumbed down the list to be what’s “acceptable” to the masses to not offend or trying to be way too politically correct. STOP IT!!! Don’t do that anymore people. We need to claim who we are today and don’t accept anything that isn’t in alignment with that. I told her that if she really claimed who she is and what she really wanted and they don’t give her the job offer, then it was the wrong job anyway. It would be a gift to find that out sooner than later. Why are we so afraid of that? It’s ok to not go to a job that isn’t your ideal world. Just like earlier this year, I chose to cancel my contract with Hay House to publish my second book because I was being treated like secondary citizen. Instead of continuing the feeling of being disempowered, I chose to leave and feel empowered again about my work in the world. You can do it too. You just have to muster up the energy and courage to do so.

In the end, she had to really dig deep, not be so corporate in her list she typed out. I suggested she make a final copy for each of the eight people interviewing her and get them a copy and have a copy herself. Why put on paper? Because then you won’t chicken out again…our nerves can really get the best of us sometimes, so put yourself in a position where there’s no turning back. Position yourself to be lucky to let your freak flag fly!!

She made it to the 2nd round of interviews and had to do a presentation. She nailed it. Two days later, she was offered the job. The offer was for $20K more than she was making at her current job. I went after her again, why? Because when she wrote down her income number at the beginning of this process, the offer was for $10K less than what she thought she was worth.   They also gave her less vacation days. I asked her, “Do you want to lose quality of life to work for this company?” She looked at me confused again. Another pattern I see often at this part of the process. I said, “If you choose to have less days off per year, then you are giving up your freedom. Do you want this?” Keep your power, overcome those fears that will creep up. I recommended she go back them and say, thank you for the job offer, but I require $10K more per year in salary, and ten more days off per year. This would give her five more than she had, so she would gain more quality of life.

She went back to the corporate giant. She did the deed. She was nervous as all get out. Before the end of the day, they called and said they could give her $7K more, which was $27K more than her current job, and they said she could work one day per week from home and gave her more days off. What I’ve learned through the years is that ACTION is the best way to work past your fears and solidify a new response system, which gives you a new reality. It’s the only way to do it. Why? Because along the way you are shifting your energy in present time, despite the jitters, and that makes it a new you.

I’ll be giving some tips and tools over the next few months if you like, Click here to get on my mailing list to get access to them over the next few months before my book comes out. Sign up here to receive notice of samples of my second book, Awaken Your Wealth: Create a PACT to Optimize Your Money and Your Life which will give readers a deep dive to work on their patterning and create a new which will come out this fall. Let’s Awaken Your Wealth together, you deserve it!!