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My Freedom

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We all want freedom. The United Kingdom last month showed the world they would rather have their freedom than give into the establishment despite the fear of the unknown of what this will truly mean to them. But why is it, in so many cases, we don’t choose our own personal freedom? Intellectually we do, but in our hearts, we don’t. Why? Because we haven’t forgiven ourselves for our past choices and we’re trapped on the hamster wheel of life.

Financially speaking, our past choices usually reside in our levels of debt. Whether that be our mortgage debt, car debt, student loans, credit cards, loans to family members, etc. It weighs us down like a lead balloon, whether we convince ourselves that it is good debt or bad debt, debt is still debt. Debt doesn’t allow you to live in the present moment and makes it tough to live in the present moment and even tougher to plan for your desired future. Debt doesn’t allow you the space to be nimble.  When we look at the debt we have created in our lives, we always have good reasoning for it, again, our head telling us why it’s good, but are hearts are SCREAMING for something different. Are you listening?

A dear friend of mine said to me, “Julie, I sold my house and I bought my freedom.” Many of us feel buying a house is the American Dream. It may very well be, but at least question it. The homes we buy should be more of our sanctuaries, our safe places, as opposed to our burden. Why do we make these choices? Because, we have Emotion Behind Money. We emotionally work things out or we act them out. In reality, we can’t change the past. It’s like in the movie The Lion King when Rafiki hits Simba over the head with the stick. Simba says, “Ouch, why did you do that?” Rafiki replies, “It’s in the past, it does not matter.” And it really doesn’t matter, it is what is, the past. You need to forgive yourself for where you’re at, whether it is financially, personally, or otherwise. When you forgive yourself, you will create space for the new to come in. And honestly, when the new comes in, it will in many cases surprise the heck out of you. Are you ready for that next adventure? I am…

My friend is spending her life in her 60s with 25% of her time in Seattle where her home was, 25% in Chicago where the majority of her family is, 25% in London with a dear lifelong friend, and 25% she changes annually for three months per year. What I love about how she is living is that she is not doing what she is “supposed” to do and now she is doing what she wants to do, today at age 64. She threw out all the rules we are “supposed” to live by to be successful which she did for many years. Who says we have to live this way. Why are we all following this trap? We are chasing life while life passes us by. She changed her job to be an independent contractor. Risky? Perhaps, but define risk. Risk can be that you get laid off in the next recession that is looming right now, not by your choice. Someone else decides your on the chopping block, as opposed to going out and finding your own clients. I’ve had some many people tell me through the years, aren’t you afraid running your own business when the economy gets bad. I laugh because they think they are safe with a guarantee paycheck working for someone else. Is it really guaranteed? I think not. I tell them, I could let go of everyone working at my company and I still get a paycheck if I had to. Susan, having the courage in abilities and skills she developed through the years and with technology today, she just plugs in from wherever she is at to get the job done. I never met anyone that is so happy while so many millions are stressed out to the gills.

In the process she had to forgive herself for buying the $900,000 house in Seattle. On some level she felt it was such a big mistake. She thought about all the money she spent remodeling and making her own imprint on the place, only to realize she didn’t find the happiness she expected to get. To her credit, she put 50% down payment, some cash came from the sale of her prior home in Chicago, plus some additional cash she had on hand in savings. This gave her only a $450,000 mortgage, but it was her lead balloon. She made every decision in her life based on this lead balloon. She put up with a boss that was awful to her because she needed the paycheck to pay for it. For many years she felt she was trapped in her job, in Seattle, and to this huge mortgage payment.

What was confusing to her was that she had always dreamed of living in Seattle. She loved being outdoors and really being a part of a community that really fed her soul. She didn’t realize how much the looming debt would affect her, especially for what we call a “good debt” in our society. She had a successful job that she had worked her whole career to build up to making a very healthy six figure income, but she found, it didn’t create the happiness she really desired on the inside. Why? The lead balloon, the mortgage, kept her planted and stuck in all areas of life. She didn’t travel as much as she would like because she no longer had the extra cash flow to do it, not only for vacation, but also to come see her aging mom in Chicago. I watched her struggle with that for years.

It was amazing to see her the day she decided to not beat herself up anymore for making the choice to spend all that money on the house and take on that mortgage. She had decided to sell her home, quit her job and find her freedom, but it all started with her forgiving herself for making the past choices she had made. Kudos to her, she found the courage and now is happier than ever.

Are you ready to get off the hamster wheel? It really is your choice. Make that decision for yourself. Choose you. Choose to forgive yourself for your current reality. Choose to forgive yourself for what debts you have, the financial patterns you’ve imprinted on your kids, for the crappy boss or company you put up with for years that sucked the life out of you, forgive your spouse and the patterns you put up with, and most importantly, forgive yourself for being human.

This fall my new book is coming out, Awaken Your Wealth. I have found once you come to a place that you are ready to forgive yourself, it’s time to build you back up to create the life you’ve want today, no matter what age you are and where you’re at in life today. Awaken Your Wealth will give you a roadmap to follow and the support you need. Coming up, I will be giving out sample chapters to get you going on creating your life, your way!! I’m honored to walk this journey with you my friends.

It’s one thing to forgive others; it’s on a whole other different plane to forgive yourself. It seems in many cases a bit more esoteric. It’s hard to look in the mirror. It takes courage to confront and grieve through the process of what you have chosen to create in your life. In the end, your freedom comes from finding that courage from deep within. Give yourself a great big hug, grieve the pile of poop you feel you’ve created and step forward. Not so easy sometimes to do this by yourself. Before my book comes out, let us support you. Create your support team around you through not only Soul Spring, but also share it with others to start to create your tribe that you can talk about it in your daily life and be on the same page. Come join me and like-minded others regularly for some of that support you need on my Facebook Page. I always say it takes a village. We are human beings not human doings. We’ve become so good at the doing part, we’ve forgot that we need the collaboration of other people to truly feed our souls.

Remember, it’s time to create our Financial Fun Time!!

Search no longer

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Through the years, I have found that I was either looking for or even sometimes, starving for something outside of myself. I was searching time and time again without getting internal, sustainable satisfaction. I kept thinking and feeling that if I just got to the goal of moving downtown, buying that new car, buy the new condo or starting my own company and being successful at it, that all would be so much better. Over the past few years while living my life in the present moment more, I’ve found this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I noticed that we are conditioned, told and reinforced every day in our society that there is some “carrot” that is being dangled in front of us to keep pushing us forward, and eventually you’ll get that carrot, but at what cost? I’ve watched loved ones work so hard throughout the years and for what?   What’s the end game? Is it to provide for our families? To save for my kids’ college so they don’t have the debt that I had coming out of school? To build up money to live in our “golden years” or just doing it for the “tomorrow” we want, while the years just keep passing us by? Personally, I refuse to live like this.

What drove me to live like I did for years, the same way many of you do today? We are all emotional beings; you and me. In my first book, The Emotion Behind Money: Building Wealth From the Inside Out, I talk about the need to acknowledge our true power source – our hearts. When we are making decisions from our hearts and not our minds, we put ourselves in alignment with what is true for us. So why do we keep looking outside for validation? On one level, we let the almighty dollar drive our decisions; on another level, we think we are flawed. To make it worse, society and how we use money reinforce it by telling us that if you don’t give us something of yourself, you’ll lose your job; if you don’t play nice in the work sandbox, you won’t get that raise or promotion. Hence, many of us, in our main working years, have become institutionalized with corporate politics and feel stuck for years. It’s so subtle, but it has slowly been eating away at our humanity and, in the long run, it has made a big impact.

People say to me every day “How do you do it? You’re married, running a business, you have 4 children six and under, you’re writing a second book coming out this fall, and you baked cookies for the party today.” I tell them, it’s all a choice. I have decided that I only do the things in my life that really make me giggle. I love baking cookies with my kids, so I do. I’m a visionary and I love growing my financial advising business JMC Wealth Management, Inc., as well as my personal brand and online presence, Julie Murphy, to financially improve the world we live in. Lastly, I love bi-weekly date nights with my husband to keep the “giggle” alive. There’s not one thing that I do day to day that doesn’t make me feel expansive and excited. If something doesn’t make me feel that way, it goes away.

Are you searching? Have you been trying to get validation by the status of your career or by how much money you make? Are you trying too hard to feel like you are enough by all the people you spend all your money on? Are you the one that gives your money away as an expression of love to feel validated?   I see this so prevalent in today’s parents. They work so hard for the money they earn, they let their careers dictate the time they have to spend with their families, only to just give in and give their children so many things because on some level they feel guilty. We buy more TVs, more iPods, we give kids our credit cards and don’t take them away after they graduate college, and all because we feel bad, on some level, about the lack of time we’ve spent raising our children. It’s a really tangled web these days.

I’m here to tell you – stop searching! No need to search any longer for something outside of yourself for validation, love or acceptance. The acceptance is all between your two ears. Choose it. I too am trying to find a new harmony in my life with a 4th child in our family. It drives me nuts how on Monday morning, I am swamped with emails, I need to be really focused and its okay that 15 people want me yesterday. You know what? That extra swim in our pool last night before the kids went to bed was well worth it. The smile on MaryKate’s face when I told her she could get back into her bathing suit for a second time that day was priceless. And of course, any of you that follow me on Facebook (and if you don’t come join me), can understand my Bridget, the outgoing, dynamic personality, needing to bring her mermaid fin to add a little extra fun. I’m all about more fun these days – personally, professionally and financially. Sometimes we all just need a little pick me up to get us to the next place. And that lies in what you are reading, listening to, and those you spend time with.

So, how do you detach from the old world without getting hooked by your current personal, work, or financial reality? Here are some steps to help:

  • Create space in your life. This can be in either time or money. Stop spending time doing things you really don’t like. Financially speaking, look at where money has gone these past few months and choose what you no longer value. Choose to stop spending your cash or credit there. Create space for new things to fill in your time and where you want your money to go.
  • Remember, money is energy. Energize what you want to create. Spend some of this new found time. Money wise, feel your way into what you want to spend, save or invest your money on now that you’ve reconsidered where it was going. Set up accounts with auto-deposits just like your paycheck gets deposited automatically every month. Life is too busy these days to manually get it done. You’ll not be as efficient in your process if you convince yourself you want to control it and manually move money.
  • Find those in your life who you want to become more like. Our friends and family are in our lives for a reason; it’s because they are a reflection of you. You share their attributes – the good, the bad and the ugly – and it’s alright; just love yourself. If you want to be more financially fit, then hang around those that are, as opposed to those friends that are always complaining about their money situation, their job, and just life in general.
  • You are the only thing you need. You are the treasure inside the treasure chest. Stop spending time at jobs, in relationships or other places where others don’t see you as such a treasure. When you do this, more money follows because you are doing what makes you feel good.

I am here to support you. Come join me weekly on Tuesdays, at 5:30pm central, for my Facebook Live Streams to ask me any of those questions that have been jamming you up to live the financial, personal, work and family life you want and deserve to live.

Restoring your authority for an authentic life

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People in positions of authority often talk about how much their life changed when they started saying “No.” And as easy as it seems, those two letters are often the scariest ones to utter to those closest to us in our lives. Our friends. Family members. Business partners. Coworkers.

Saying “No” is a terrifying proposition and for good reason; no one wants to let anyone else down. Luckily, there have been best-selling books, blog posts and think pieces on how beneficial and necessary it is to not just grin and bear it.

Today, however, I want to talk about something different: saying “Yes.” Read More