It’s all about balance of all the things that are important in your planning…you have to retire, but you also have to address the care giving. The key here is what to do with new found money as you grow through the years, get a tax refund, have 1/3 go to debt payoff, 1/3 to care giving, 1/3 go to retirement planning.
You also need to look at what your resources are…you don’t want to leave loved ones stranded, but if they have made financial decisions to not help themselves, you have to decide for yourself, how much of your future do you put on the line for others, not doing their part in their own lives. I have experience with this with my father having 2 massive strokes and 2 grandmothers who have and do need care giving currently.
The take away from this is to be your own advocate for your financial future. Enjoy your retirement years knowing that you have planned accordingly.